Many couples face a challenge when it comes to their religious beliefs or actions. It should not really be a big surprise as we are each at different places in our spiritual growth and maturity, no to mention the different ways we each handle life’s challenges.
What do you do if you feel like you’re not aligned? You be patient and refocus on yourself. Imagine if you will a starting point marked on one side of a paper, this is YOU and on the opposite side of the paper the finish, WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. Just for ease of helping you understand let’s say that the end point is YOUR ETERNAL FAMILY.
In between your start and finish there are a lot of events, some help you progress straight forward and then your path looks like a curly “q” as some unplanned trial happens and you struggle to get back to your path.
You can clearly see that your path is not one straight line and trying to create a perfect” parallel” course with your significant other is actually impossible. They have their own start and their own finish and their finish may not even be the same as yours, and you know what that’s ok.
There have been times in my life when I have been at a higher spiritual level and “pushed” my spouse into being at the same place that I am and vice versa. While a little nudging every now and then is ok pushing someone to a religious level is typically not going to achieve what you want it to and both of you are likely to end up disappointed when it does not come together as you imagined.
Instead of working so hard on getting both of you there it is MORE important for you to build your relationship in a different way. Simply work on each of YOU being the best YOU that YOU can be, a lot of YOUs in there. You can’t make something happen for someone else but you can absolutely become the best you that you can be.
When you do this guess what happens? Your significant other is able to reach their best too. They are not feeling punished or like they are letting you down by not meeting your expectations. Your spouse feels loved and accepted for who they are and this gives them the ability to progress forward because when we are pushing them along we are actually creating a curly “q” in their path, creating frustration and let down. In time they may just give up altogether, because what is the point.
If you are doing things like praying, attending church and studying alone don’t make it uncomfortable for you both. Simply accept that they may at this time not be ready to accompany you and by doing so in time you just might find they will be much more likely to join you when not feeling forced.
The Lord does not send us on our journey and demand that we do exactly as commanded or punish you, right? Why? You have your agency to pick for yourself and if he forced you to action what purpose would that serve? The same purpose that it serves if we try to force our spouse.
Live happy, enjoy each other and don’t put pressure on each other to finish on the same path. You can both get to the same destination in time.
-AJ- Honest Sassy Mama